Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
