cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
