Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
