Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
