I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
