my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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