Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
