I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The police scanner is talking about you again....
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
