I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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