I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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