I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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