Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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