I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
