Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
