'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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