Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
