That's when you crack a 10am beer
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
