Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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