he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
