It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
