Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
