Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
