Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she looked like the before picture.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
