i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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