If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
