32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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