I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
