singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
zippers are such a cool invention
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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