Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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