You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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