At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
