he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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