We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
