It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize