so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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