like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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