Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
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I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.