Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch