i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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