Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell