Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Pants are for mortals
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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