You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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