In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
