Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
