the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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