If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize