idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
