so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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