omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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