i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Im part way to drunk.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
