YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
