i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
