Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
