I'm going to jail i love you
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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