She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
