Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
