i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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