I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
