Small penises have feelings too.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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