i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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