I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
