this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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