Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
