Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
PANTIES FOUND
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