I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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