Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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