That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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