There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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